Together we prepared to leave my beloved city. There are few things if any that I hate leaving more than I hate leaving Madinah. Subhanallah.
After leaving madinah we enjoyed a series of special stops. For the third time since I arrived in Madinah I was able to pray 2 rakat in Masjid Quba, alhamdulilah. We then briefly visited Mount Uhud. Our final stop in Madinah was Dhul Hulayfah.
How can you understand the intensity of emotions this moment brings? A knot swelled up in my throat as I held back tears of sadness, parting with Madinah is never easy. Gradually the beat of my heart increased its pace as though it was going to speed up our ride to Makkah. Finding the right material to hang over my face without being blinded was frustrating to say the least but more than anything purifying my niyat and ikhlaas was most weighty of them all. No matter how many times I've passed this way each time is like the first. Each time I feel unworthy. Each time I cling to hope. Each time I shed some tears repeating the talbiyyah again and again. Thoughts and feelings, action and intention, hope and fear, humility and love together they stir and mingle within. Each time I find to be the most personal time of my life and it is like I am closest to my grave. My life seemed now behind me and the hereafter before eyes.The goal of this worship for which I made my intention is to please Allah and I pray this goal I'd reach. Out of immense mercy Allah gives these opportunities to whom he wills. I hope that I am worthy. I hoped I'd achieve success. We depart in the state of ihram. The humming of the talbiyyah filled the bus as the desert night engulfed us. Labayk Allahumma labayk.
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